2. Irate customers who think that they deserve to be treated like royalty and you, the employee, like trash.
3. Commercials about drugs that ask "is this drug right for you" without telling you what it treats.
4. Telemarketers. It's a shitty job, but if you ask me, they're asking for whatever angry responses they get from people.
5. Banks and their bureaucratic policies. Policies, for example, that say even though you make a deposit and a withdrawal at the same time on the same day, if the withdrawal somehow overdraws you, and they can charge you $22.00 for it, then the deposit will count as having been placed into the account AFTER the withdrawal took place. Magically.
6. Huge, hairy spiders that wait until I'm just about to get into bed to decide to crawl across my pillow or bedroom ceiling.
7. Anything that wakes me up in the morning. The phone. Nutties on the street. Car alarms. Drunk people. Next door neighbors who decide to chain a young dog outside their apartment and ignore it while it yaps its head off.
8. People who drive in the fastlane going the exact speed limit or below.
9. Those irritating folks in class who think they know everything and are willing to proclaim their idiocy to the entire room, as well as make fun of those around them who actually DO know what they're talking about. Like this girl I knew in college who would make fun of the shy kids who ventured to raise their hands during discussion.
10. Pedestrians in the Bay Area...they're everywhere!
11. Any commercial on TV about insurance or car dealerships...especially if they're shown at 4AM.
12. Vending machines that refuse to take anything but a newly minted, perfectly straight and crisp dollar bill.
13. Anyone who is nice to your face and talks shit behind your back.
14. Passive aggressiveness.
15. Bad leaders.
16. Stores that encourage their salespeople to follow you around and constantly ask if you need help. Like the Gap in downtown Berkeley and any Nordstroms.
17. Lies.
18. Bigots.
19. Anyone who says gay people should not be allowed to marry.
20. Ignorance.
21. Those who argue Russia and China were really communist and all democrats should be called "comrade."
22. People who talk on cell phones while they're driving. You can always tell because they're driving really slow and in multiple lanes.
23. People who talk on cell phones really loudly in quiet places...like the library or bookstore or movie theater.
24. Hippies.
25. The rich yuppies that live on the hill in Berkeley, who wear hiking sandals and ride bikes downtown, proclaiming to love the poor and the environment but treat customer service folks like shit and drive their SUVs to work.
26. Hypocrisy.
27. Flakiness.
28. My mother when she assumes that because I haven't called for a couple of days that I must be dead on top of a mountain or have moved to Mexico to give birth to the love child of my latest conquest.
29. Men.
30. Every time a man says "I just got out of a relationship and am not ready to get into another one." What, do I look stupid? Besides, you can go fuck yourself. All I asked is if you wanted some water.
31. Brad Pitt and the fact that he keeps deluding himself to believe he'll be happy with anyone but me.
32. Totally Repressed Females. Just think of the sorority girl stereotype and you'll know what I mean.
33. The fact that banks and post offices are closed on sunday.
34. Albertson's and their whole campaign when Safeway came out with the Safeway card, saying that "you don't need a card to save at Albertson's." How long was it until they sold themselves out on that one and came out with the Albertson's card?
35. Cats when they spontaneously scratch the hell out of your hand after you've been peacefully petting them for a while.
36. The movie Eye of the Beholder. It sucked. I want the two hours of my life back.
37. People who talk, chew their nails, floss, or breathe heavily during movies.
38. Anyone who knocks on my door selling something or promoting a religion.
39. The junk mail I continuously get in my mailbox. It's just a waste of paper.
40. Sneezes that are teasing me and won't either let me sneeze or go away for good.
41. Anyone who justifies doing something illogical simply "on principle."
42. The guidance counselor at my old high school who told my brother he wouldn't get into Harvard (even though he had straight As and a 1600 on his SATs) and who wondered why in the hell I would think of applying to UC Berkeley (because I thought I would be accepted and WAS you asshole).
43. Those kids we all wish we could go back in time to meet- high school and junior high- and tell them off just because they think they're smarter, funnier, sexier, and more popular than us (but we know are just more insecure, stupid, and ugly).
44. Anyone who thinks that they deserve a refund even after they've watched the entire movie or eaten the entire plate of food.
45. Moochers who reach over and grab things off of your plate without even asking.
46. People in amazing cars (like Porsches) who either drive like old bitties or really badly.
47. When the vibrator breaks or runs out of battery power when you're halfway through.
48. When the guy breaks or runs out of battery power when you're halfway through.
49. Murderers.
50. Intolerance.
51. The ending of Romeo and Juliet. Wake up dammit!
52. That they cancelled La Femme Nikita.
53. Boyfriends who leave without telling you why.
54. That the official soda of UC Berkeley (whose colors are Blue and Gold) is Coke, which is red, and the same color as Berkeley's rival, Stanford.
55. Hangovers.
56. Taxes.
57. Bubble gum packs that explode inside your bag and leave sticky sticks of gum everywhere.
58. Anything that interrupts regularly scheduled broadcasting. Especially baseball games and presidential speeches.
59. People who think that my car is a cop car and not only slam on their brakes but go BELOW the speed limit.
60. The extension cord at work that always just slightly shocks me when I plug it in. If I ever die of electrocution, please use this post as a way to get money from the bastards that A)made it and B)made me use it.
61. The Band-Aid gunk that gets left behind on your skin and collects all manners of dirt and fuzzies.
62. People who freak out at ridiculous and inconsequential things.
63. People who get their kicks off of masturbating next to someone in a movie theater. Dammit, you're ruining my movie and NO ONE wants to see that.
64. My back because it hurts.
65. People who steal right out underneath my nose and do it so badly that I know it.
66. Standardized tests...not everyone thinks in multiple choice!!!
67. The plastic wrappers on CDs that are impossible to open.
68. Bitches...for an explanation, go HERE.
69. Labels.
70. Words like "hella" "hecka" and "hells yeah."
71. Pubic hairs and the fact that they're EVERYWHERE.
72. Trying to find the ringing cell phone buried in the bottom of my purse.
73. When things get underneath my fingernails.
74. Roadkill.
75. Work.
76. Anyone who comes by money easily.
77. Drivers who don't take advantage of free right turns.
78. Pop up ads.
79. Gina Gershon's mouth.
80. Denise Richards when she tries to act.
81. People who try to sound smart by using a lot of big words but only end up making unintelligible sentences, uninteresting sentences.
82. Gender stereotypes.
83. The bottom dollar.
84. Useless death.
85. Whiners.
86. Being sick.
87. Fake boobs.
88. Movies that cop out and take the easy plot home instead of delving into something more original and interesting. Like Identity.
89. Frat boys. The free drinks for girls at parties rocks. But the 200 barely post-pubescent boys running around trying to look cool and get laid is irritating.
90. People who have to stare at your tits at the gym like it's a frigging meat market.
91. Men in Radio Shack and hardware stores who assume just because I'm a girl, I must either be lost or have no idea what I'm looking for.
92. The same men who don't know what a digital coaxial cable is or where it's kept at the same stores after I give in and tell them what I need.
93. People who assume because a girl knows how to fix basic things, drive a car well, play sports, and stand up for herself she must have been a tomboy growing up.
94. Mustaches.
95. Pretentious pricks who try to be cool by pretending to know a foreign language, but obviously don't.
96. People who buy plants and know they'll probably end up killing them.
97. Anyone who buts a Betta in a cup and tries to sell it.
98. The people who thought up that stupid kittens in bottles web page and tried to market it as a real commodity.
99. When I get to the grocery store and totally forget everything I needed to buy.
100. Making this list. It took too many damned hours!!
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